Story # 2 or “A Letter to Myself”

choices, Christ, Christian, Forgiveness, Grace, lifetrack, relationships, storytelling, understanding

Dear Rafael, 

We have reached the point in your life where we need to start actually getting real. Your Idenity crisis has reach a maximum  where you have no one to turn to except for God. Even though you have a crazy amount of fear rooted in this letter because you must face some truths there will be an endless amount of love at the very end of it because God has intended that for you. With that being said let’s begin shall we? 

For all your life you have been a wandering nomad. A traveling gypsy, a Jonah as we would say. Running away from that fish called fear. And let’s face it….its a pretty big fish. It’s the Christian fish…the number one truth you’re scared to face and that’s because you my friend are becoming a Christian. It’s the truth…you dislike (we use that word because the word hate is no longer in your vocabulary)to admit that your heart is becoming soft and that you hurt for the ones around you. Your mind is becoming like Christ. You have began to tithe and you actually read your bible. You were serving but have taken a back seat because you were wrapping your Idenity in it, but don’t take a back seat for too long. Get back up there when the time is right, you’ll see the joy all over again I promise. You have become honest with the people around yourself but yet you do not become honest with the person that you see in the mirror every morning. 

Let me ask you this. Would be a terrible idea to actually forgive yourself? Would it be a bad idea to forgive the ones who have done you wrong? Would the world stop and end if you actually began to accept the love that God has had for you all these years that you have lived in LA? I ask you these things because you have become comfortable on walking in the eggshells of these questions. To scared to actually dive into the greatness that God has had for you for a long time. No longer doubt that you do not have a relationship with God because the truth is YOU DO! BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS….he has called you to be! You say to yourself it’s easy to say, but then you ask yourself “How do I begin?” 

Well we begin with the base of love. Yes love, because we love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). We throw in some grace because for from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace (John 1:16). We add some hope because endurance produces character and character produces hope (Romans 5:4). And then finally the most important ingredient to a life walking alongside him is faith because for we walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Be strong and courageous Rafael and let go! 

Letting yourself go is hard thing because it allows you accept the things you cannot change but it gives you the ability to lift up your eyes and to see a life full of wonder and endless possibilities. A life filled with laughter and kindness and great memories. I’m not disregarding the fact that yes we have had a struggle for the past 6 years of our life, but we are just people. EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS! But the difference is that we have been a people who has had Christ inside for a while and we have been denying that change that he has been trying to do for sometime. It’s time that we embrace our dad and accept that it’s okay to be a Christian. It’s okay to love people and to cry with them when they are hurting. It’s okay to think like Christ, and read your bible, and it’s GREAT to tithe! God is bigger than your biggest dreams and your greatest fears. Walk to the north and be the form that God has called you to be. There is a knowing in the stillness of just being quiet don’t be afraid of that stillness. 

A close friend of yours told you the other day that you are not meant to carry your cross all the time (Keep this friend she is wise, caring, and won’t put up with your crap. Because we both know that you can tend to be a bit of an idiot when it comes to friendship but that’s for a whole different letter to yourself). She also said there is a time to pick up your cross and go through but also a time to allow a time to allow God to pick up your cross and allow him to carry it for you. This is the season that you are in. A season of letting go and change. Don’t worry about the other things God will fix it. He will fix the relationships that you have lost and he will provide the people to help you with it. A time to plant is your through line….be planted and don’t run. See what he’s about to do and be content friend. Be encouraged, and I told you so…love will always be in the end. Learn to love and be loved always and forever. 




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